Who is Mr. Applegate?
Fact? Fiction? A mongoloid? An Avatar? A man wandering the Earth
in rhinestone cowboy boots with his cock out? I can't lie or deny
anything. Read the stories, "Cheese
Studs Go West", "Happy
New Weird", or "The Successor"
and tell me that truth isn't stranger than fiction.
I also dare you, I dare you, to look at a kangaroo and not laugh.
OK, they're normally funnier than that.
What we do know is that Adam Applegate was born in the
winter of 1967 in the outskirts of Chicago and grew up in Purgatory...ie,
Milwaukee. During this, his most recent visit to Earth,
he's been a dick dancer; a drug addict; a cab driver; a sci-fi
metal singer; a bartender; a student & seeker of the absolute
truth; a cult follower; an undertaker; and the head of various
escort and sex services--not to mention the guru of his own devised
therapeutic systems of narcissism and self-humiliation.
He's been killed countless times: lying on the floor after a
crack binge or crushed in a car accident.
He's cleared thousands of dollars one year . . . filed bankruptcy
the next.
Gone to jail on account of women, booze, and bad ideas: twice.
But who is Mr. Applegate, you ask?
Stranger than fiction. Real shit.
King Ja's Inferno
Mr. Applegate's brother from another star mother, King Ja burns
his bridges in the sex industry. And not just metaphorically.
Impromptu magic rituals ... heart ache ... bad Motley Crue songs.
[read]
A Mess in Texas
Boobies, debacles and naked African tribesmen with bowel issues...Mr.
Applegate sets out to prove that these things are actually "Bigger
in Texas". So get yer shit-kickers on. Your gonna need 'em!
[read]
Boons of Embarrassment
Humiliation 101: Mr. Applegate, aided by the buffoonery of his
Twin City comrades, discovers and masters the fine art of embarrassment.
Learn, through the observances of our foolish hero, how one can
still come out smelling like roses...even after pissing oneself.
[read]
Confucius Applegate
Learn the meaning of beingness and havingness, the Ying and
Yang, so to speak, of the Mr. Appelgate universal axioms. Part
II begins where we left off, ... at #26 and continues on to #50.
[read]
The Synchronized Skunk
Two social derelicts, low on gas but full on tequila, weed, whip-its,
and psylocibin, stumble and trip their way across Wisconsin with
the guidance (or misguidance) of a puzzling and precarious paranormal
skunk. [read]
The Cheese Studs Go West
After their usual weekly dose of being willfully molested at
a bachelorette party and with the relaxing effects of an overly
reccomended use of "prescribed" pain killers, Collin
and Adam, on a whim, decide to take their talents to Hollywood
but only after they finish one more Midwest gig in a stud bar
in Iowa involving a gay farmer's daughter. [read]
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